7 Online Dating Tips for Contacting a Potential Date

Online Dating: Seven Tips for Contacting Potential Dates

Master the art of writing to a potential date, making that all important first contact that can make or break a first date opportunity, and you have pretty much mastered the art of online dating--provided of course that your own profile is detailed and complete with current photos.

After all, online dating is definitely a contact sport! Or a sport of contact. One of the most difficult parts of using an online dating website is deciding how to contact potential dates. From instant messaging to email contact, dating websites offer numerous ways to get in touch, but few offer any help with making a good first impression. First impressions count for a lot in dating anyone who has frequented a bar or club knows how important an approach is and without a great initial email it is easy to lose a potential dating opportunity.

These seven tips are designed to help you make that first contact something really special, and something that leads to future dates. Incorporate them into your emails, instant messages or phone calls, and make sure that your initial contact does not cut down on dating opportunities.

#1: Do Not Appear Too Desperate to Start Dating

If you have a good profile on a popular dating website, you have no doubt been bombarded with emails from people that seem to have nothing better to do than spend all their time searching through dating profiles. Part of meeting people is being interesting, and by assigning all your attention to them, it is incredibly difficult to appear as anything other than obsessive, desperate and boring. By all means flatter, but do not make it the focus of your contact. Write about your life in the real world as well: hobbies, work, family, friends, travel, your real life hopes, dreams and goals, fun local events or activities.

Successful online dating requires writing to a potential date very carefully. #2: Read Their Profile Carefully to Discover Helpful Conversation-starter Ways to "Break the Ice" and Suggest Potential First Date Ideas

If they do not like long walks on the beach while discussing a certain type of books, do not suggest the beach or local book store for a first date. If you share one of their favorite movies, be sure to mention it. Making contact is all about sharing connections and similar interests, and without an understanding of who they are it is difficult to do so. Spend some time reading through their profile before you send that first email. And keep in mind that successfully contacting someone who took the time to write a detailed profile for you to read means referring to those details in your message to them.

#3: Do Not Be Too Pushy

If the internet is populated with anything, it is pushy sales tactics. From once-only offers to endless advertisements, people try to avoid sales when they are on online dating websites. Part of these annoyances are people that try to “sell” themselves to you. By all means draw attention to yourself, but salesman tactics have no place in a dating email. Be accommodating and you will find yourself on a date; be too pushy and you will find your emails ignored.

#4: Personalize Everything

A form letter is going to get you nowhere. If you are contacting someone that gets a lot of emails already, you need to be personal to make a real connection. This means tailoring your message to suit them and only them. Spend some time working out what to include, and stay away from generalities and assumptions. Ask questions as long as they are not too personal or controversial. Remember almost everyone is at least initially interested in someone who shows a sincere interest in them. Communicate clearly, for example, one of the most important instant messaging dating tips is to make sure that your potential date knows all the instant messaging shorthand before hitting send. This is doubly important when sending a potential date text messages using the latest texting or sexting lingo. If not, you best stick to email for making first contact. Always be sure you are being understood not misunderstood!

#5: Suggest Some Date Ideas

There is nothing more frustrating than an email asking you to pick out a first date location. It leaves the receiver worried about making the wrong choice, paranoid about offending the sender with a bad idea, and generally uncomfortable about making a decision. To ease the process, include some potential first date ideas in your email. Keep first dates fun, friendly and most of all casual. Leave out ideas that do not allow for easy conversation opportunities. Quiet coffee shops, cozy cafes, picnics, museums, even bowling or miniature golf provide great conversation opportunities.

#6: Do Not Take Rejection Too Hard.

There are thousands of other online dating profiles out there to pick from, and if your email goes ignored it is not the end of the world. Learn from your mistakes and try contacting someone else. Most importantly, do not ever follow up an ignored email with a stalker-style “Why didn't you respond?” message. Sure, there are plenty of other fish in the online dating sea, but also keep in mind that we live in an incredibly hectic age with all kinds of time pressures. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt and hope that they will do the same for you. People get busy. It does not mean that they are officially rejecting you. Patience is often rewarded. So is persistence.

#7: Know What You Want in a Potential Date and Say So

Finally, do not be too wishy-washy. Dating relationships often start out slowly, but they do start out. Being lukewarm or overly passive or noncommittal is no way to start a dating relationship out on the right foot. Firm footing begins with knowing who you are, stating in clearly; and knowing what you are looking for in a potential dating partner and stating it clearly. Also, do not settle for anything less than what you are looking for, refer back to online dating tip #1. Do not be desperate to date just anyone. Think of it this way, while you are biding your time with Mr. or Miss 'Not Quite Right' the Mr. or Miss 'Right" of your dreams could go unnoticed and never contacted.

Online Dating Services Related To This Article:

Match.com is #1. After a detailed review of the fourteen largest general dating services on the Internet our editors ranked Match.com the very best for dating above-age-30 singles - Not only did we find a greater number (59%) of singles age 30 to 49, we also found a greater number of singles with 4 year college and graduate degrees, which could explain the higher income levels of singles at Match.com and this can be extrapolated out to indicate a higher number of motivated, ambitious singles.

SeniorFriendFinder is #1. With over 400,000 members this is the most popular senior dating service for English speaking senior single primarily in the USA, Canada and the UK. This very active online senior community is sure to please even those senior singles that are just looking for a place to belong to share common interests, and are not necessarily “hot” on the trail of their next marriage partner. Although romance is certainly in the air at SeniorFriendFinder all be it ever so low key as it is.

PrimeSingles is #2. Prime Singles is #2. A site to strongly consider for online dating success, has state-of-the-art dating tools, a popular general senior dating site with about 300,000 members many of which (29%) are age 30 to 49 with 57% of all members in the age 50+ senior singles category.

AgeMatch is #1. AgeMatch is #1 among age-gap, transgenerational dating sites. A site to strongly consider for online dating related to younger singles dating older singles and not having any hang ups with regard to age related issues.

PerfectMatch.com is #1. After a detailed review of the five largest matchmaking services on the Internet our editors ranked PerfectMatch.com the very best matchmaking service for dating singles above the age of 30, including senior singles over age 50. With over 15 million members this is a perfect matchmaking service for singles over age 30, including senior singles, to strongly consider if they want a dating site where matches are chosen for them by dating experts, after evaluation of a very detailed dating and personality questionnaire.

eHarmony.com is #2 With over 16 million members and a huge advertising budget eHarmony is probably the most well known matchmaking service on the Internet.

True.com is #3. With over 10.5 million members this is a dating site to strongly consider for online dating success and maybe even ultimate dating safety, since true does a criminal background check on all potential members before they are allowed to join. They also screen out anyone married who shows up in USA, public records.

Yahoo! Personals is #2. Our reviewers and editors really like this dating site and think that you will really like it, too. Yahoo! Personals has grown rapidly, since around 1998, to over 11 million members. You are certain to find a very good selection of singles over age 30 at Yahoo! Personals. It is also popular among senior singles looking for friends or senior dating opportunities.

Top of Page

Dating Advice and Dating Service Reviews For Singles, Age 30+ Who Are Serious About Quality Dating and Lasting Relationships

Top Dating Sites:

Dating & Relationship Resources:

Online Dating Advice

Online Dating: Seven Tips for Contacting Potential Dates

Online Dating Services Related To This Article: